The Diva Within

What Men Notice About You

2009-11-20T20:39:00.000-08:00

Attention to vanity will seem shallow at times, but when it comes to attracting men, it's very important. Some women say "I want him to love me for what's inside,” or “I hate working out.” When think like that, you're actually limiting the number of men who will find you attractive. A woman’s physical appearance allows men to form surprisingly accurate first impressions. So you may want to think twice about what kind of image you’re projecting with these traits guys check out immediately.

1. Your Smile

Does your smile seem sweet and genuine, or awkward and forced? Do you have lipstick on your teeth? Do you have food lodged between every single one of your teeth?

2. Your Skin

Guys need to know that you do take care of yourself, and the condition of your skin tells it all. Chances are guys won’t even notice blemishes or other small imperfections you dwell over; however, they will notice ashy or over-tanned skin.

3. Your Makeup

If you’re wearing so much makeup that you almost look like a circus clown, guys will wonder if you’re trying to cover up and what you really look like without it.

4. Your Cleavage

Guys like to look at your chest. They pay attention to how you show off what you’ve got.

5. Your Perfume

There is something about the scent of a woman that drives men crazy. Ask most men and they'll admit that a woman's fragrance has the power to lure them in – or run them off. Certain scents are very popular among men and are recognized as being aphrodisiacs.

Letting Go of a Bad Relationship

2009-11-14T13:15:00.000-08:00

One of the hardest things for any woman is letting go of a relationship that’s not meant to be. We are often attached to the illusion that this man is “the One” for us, and that if we don’t have him or her, we’ll never find somebody new or no other man will ever want us.

Many women remain in disappointing, hurtful relationships for months, even years with the false beliefs that "all men act like this"or "this is as good as it's going to get." If you ever expect to stop being repeatedly hurt and stomped on by men and have real happiness and experience true love, you first have to learn to love yourself, stop expecting other people to give you the love and acceptance you deserve and let go of unhealthy attachments to bad men and bad situations. Wasting precious time with the wrong man will only leave you bitter, and that bitterness will poison relationships with your family, children and any potential relationships you may have with actual good men in the future.

It is not selfish to meet your own needs--in fact, when you finally build up the courage to let go of painful relationships with the wrong men, you will begin to feel freedom and contentment and begin taking better care of yourself. Having an optimistic outlook, positive attitude and belief that the best is yet to come can help you bounce back from the worst of relationships.

If you just got out of a relationship but are harboring a lot of resentment against your ex or against men in general, NOW is not the time to start dating again! If you're in this situation you first have to examine what patterns you keep repeating in your relationships and why you have tendencies to be with emotionally and physically abusive men who mean you no good. Learn to identify your patterns, and the unhealthy beliefs that are causing them.

Don't beat yourself up over all the time you “wasted” with the wrong man and realize that it didn't work because it was not meant to be. Learning from the bad experiences will allow you to progress to the next level in your new relationships as you find the right man. Remember, you have to lighten your load and heal your pain before you can love again.

Qualities to Look for in a Man

2009-11-12T21:11:00.000-08:00

So what are some good qualities to look for in a man? What specific qualities do women look for in a man and how do you know if he's Mr. Right? Here are some ideas.

1. Smile

A great smile is one of the greatest quality of a man. It breaks a woman's resistance and allows her to relax around him without any verbal language.

2. Masculinity
What most women first notice are a man's physical assets, but what should linger in your mind is his masculinity. It's in the way a man moves and talks that keeps a woman's eyes on him and creates those instinctive feelings of attraction.

3. Confidence

Confidence makes a man. A man who is sure of himself, knows who he is and what he wants is probably the best quality a man can possess. He should make you feel protected. There's just something about a commanding vibe and aura of authority that women seeking men can't resist.

4. Eye contact

A man who knows how to have eye contact is a man who knows how to communicate. It's the best way to show that he's listening to what a woman is saying. It also makes a woman feel special and cared for.

5. Aromatic sense

If a man looks good and smells even better, you are bound to swarm around him.

6. Having a sense of style

It's not the clothes that make a man sexy, but how he carries his apparel with confidence and ease that does. Avoid men with styles which are unattractive like tight leather pants, pants that are too big and socks pulled up to his knees with shorts.

7. Communication skills
Conversational skills are necessary for any man to succeed with a woman. He must know when and how to start up a conversation and carry it on intelligently.

8. Being able to Cook
Most men have no problem when it comes to outdoor grilling, but what's most impressive is a man who can get down in the kitchen.

9. Having sensitivity

A man who has sensitivity has a sense of empathy, confidentiality and trustworthiness rolled into one. When you confide something or expresses your feelings to a man, he should be able to lend an ear to listen so you can let off steam.

10. Having a sense of humor

A man with a good sense of humor automatically is sexy. Think about it-- if he can make you laugh in public, chances are he can also make you giggle in bed.

You Dumped Him, Now Get Him Back

2009-10-29T16:31:00.000-07:00

So you've made a big mistake by listening to rumors, falsely accused him of things and dumped your man. The ex-boyfriend that you ran off is nice to fantasize about occasionally, but he’s a lost cause, right? Not necessarily. Getting an ex back after you have behaved badly, made a complete fool of yourself and dumped him is difficult; however, regardless of the stage of your relationship, it is possible to bring him back into your loving embrace.

Everyone makes mistakes, especially when it comes to love. Getting your ex-boyfriend back requires patience and discipline. If you decide to get your boyfriend back, you must first do some soul searching and ask yourself do you truly harbor feelings for him, or are you possibly just bored or sick of being single? Second, even though you dumped him, decide if your past relationship with him was healthy? It’s much easier to recall all the great things about a guy than to bring to mind the bad things. Make an honest assessment of your past relationship, remind yourself of why things didn’t work out the first time around and look for some clues to whether things would be any different now.

If you feel it's worth another try, be sure you know exactly what type of guy you are dealing with when trying to get him back. Think back to the person you were when he fell for you, and then compare that person to who you had become by the end of the relationship. Pay special attention to the complaints he had about your behavior, but remember--don't sacrifice who you are by responding to unreasonable or unfair complaints. He was attracted to you because he felt good with you, and you were fulfilling his emotional and physical needs at one time. If you remember that he liked your hair a certain way, or that he found certain outfits particularly attractive to him, then now's the time to put that knowledge to good use to get your man back.

Invite him to talk to you and casually ask if he'd like to do something non-committal that friends and first dates alike can do--and whatever it is, keep it fun. If he's eager to talk to you gives you the chance to meet him, propose revisiting a familiar place you used to hang out together or your favorite restaurant from back the past. Being in that familiar environment may trigger some romantic feelings he once had for you. During your conversation, casually reminisce about some funny, romantic, or exciting times you had together — like a weekend trip you took or how you first met.

It's not a best approach to write him endless emails--men respond much better to spoken words. What you say and your approach is very important; if you say the wrong words, you will lose the chance to get your ex-boyfriend back. Always act confident and casual while you are in his presence and try not to let him see that you will do almost anything to get him back. Most men like to see that they have been missed by a woman and when you do not show how the break-up affects you this will end up driving him nuts! Be considerate and listen to what he says and understand. Rebuilding the trust is a key component in this stage. Be honest with him and yourself without being too pushy or needy. If there is something you did that contributed to the breaking up, then feel free to apologize to him with no hassle, let him know you want this to work and prove to him that you have corrected those old bad habits and mistakes that drove him away. This might be hard, but then again you dumped him, right?

Pay close attention to how he replies in words and actions to your subtle gestures before you think about making your interest a little more obvious. If things seem to be going well, find a way to subtly make physical contact, like letting your knees touch his under the table and pay close attention to whether he pulls away or relaxes into you. Avoid the urge to let him know just how bad you feel, and how much you miss him because however heartbroken you feel, your ex boyfriend is not going to want you back if you show him that you are miserable and/or needy.
A guy doesn't fall for a girl out of pity--ever! After the two of you have talked it over, give your ex some time to think things over, and chances are if he really loves you, he will start to come around.

Every day, couples get back together regardless of the situation. Of course every breakup situation is different, but in most cases, if you want him bad enough, you can get your man back! You just have to be strong and smart about it!

Passing up a Good Thing

2009-10-25T09:26:00.000-07:00

So why do women complain that they can’t find a good man when they are passing one up? Why is it when you find a man who is nice and treats you right, you don't want him; but if he is a jerk, you have to have him? These blinded-by-love females do not seem to notice that they always fall for the same kind of man--the wrong man, and it never works out.

Emotionally immature women with low self-esteem are more likely to be in relationships with abusive, manipulative, and neglectful men, i.e. ex-cons, men incapable of and/or unwilling to hold a decent job, and guys with "Baby Mama" drama. The truth is emotionally immature women do not appreciate being treated good, find ways to run good men off and even intentionally sabotage the few good relationships they are in. These women attract and are attracted to jerks and in some twisted way are seduced by his confidence, charm, and passion without realizing that his confidence is really arrogance, his charm comes from him being a player, and his passion is really to be the center of his own universe. These men sniff out womens' insecurities and brain wash them to the point they don't believe that they can do any better.

Lots of women enjoy the challenge of "fixing" a loser boyfriend and seek out these emotionally unavailable men and avoid quality men. In relationships, these "bad boys" will take, not give, and will often develop very secretive and compulsive behaviors. End relationships with men who fit these warning signs. Being nice to them only results in your needs being neglected. As much as you try to, you can't fix them.

Smart women know what they are worth and commit to only being in good relationships with men who appreciate them and the goodness that they offer. One of the most important tools you can use for finding a loving man is knowing when to say no and not falling for a man simply on looks, his body or material possessions. Also, never get in the habit of negative self-talk around men also, because the wrong man will take this as weakness and feel that he has power over you.

If you're a woman who feels worse about yourself with every liar, cheater or abuser you date, it's time to make the big move towards respecting yourself and start dating nice guys. A truly good man will not bring you all that unnecessary drama and constant criticism you've come to expect. When you always look your best and smile, men will feel more attraction and commitment to you and your needs and in return will more than likely give you the love, appreciation and respect you deserve. Although you may not be spellbound at first, the nice guy without all the smooth answers and tired pick up lines may ultimately fulfill your needs in more meaningful ways.

What Men Desire in a Woman

2009-10-25T01:41:00.001-07:00

For men, having a fun, attractive and exciting woman that they can trust is invaluable. Here are some of the most wanted traits that men desire in women.

1. Men want you to look great and stay in shape.

Looking great does not mean you have to be a Barbie Doll. Sure, women wearing a size 3 tend to attract some men easier than women without that ratio, but not all men are the same. Most men know what they like and they want their women to look the very best you can for your size, type, and built--then carry it with confidence. Do your best to look great, stay in shape, dress attractively, and display a confident and sexy attitude. Watch how much more attention you'll receive from the man in your life.

2. Men want consistent and hot sex.

Men get turned on by different things that a woman does and they bond through being physically connected. The act of release during sex is how a man feels connected to you the most, and it is that feeling of being connected he seeks most in a relationship. A woman that delivers in the bedroom will, more often than not, get what she wants from her man -- a dedicated lover, because the act of making love is how a man feels that you love him.

Why Men Cheat

2009-10-25T00:33:00.000-07:00

All men know that cheating is wrong; however, in troubled relationships, cheating can be an easy alternative to the burden of a breakup. Here are some reasons why some men opt to shed their devotion and cheat on their partners.

1. You don't turn him on anymore
A lot of women in long-term relationships become lazy and no longer concern themselves with staying as fit and attractive as they once were. Your man may still think you're beautiful, but may simply feel that having sex with you has become boring and is not as exciting as it once was. This is why most mistresses are gorgeous, young women.

2. He feels that you're a nag
Cheating with another woman is a common escape from constant nagging, fighting and squabbling with the girlfriend who thrives on making her man feel like crap.

3. You don't put out
Long-term relationships seem to drain the sex drive out of many women, leaving their men gasping for fulfillment. With the need for more sex and new things in bed, some men will start looking for it elsewhere.

4. It's challenging and exciting
Nothing lifts a man's self-esteem like discovering that other women still desire him sexually. Some men simply cannot leave behind the thrill of the chase and the conquest. It's a fact that most men can't say "no" to sex. Although guys aren't constantly approached with sexual offers, sometimes an irresistible hottie presents herself. A guy may see it as once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that may never be available again.